You know what thought occurred to me while I was cleaning up the kitchen just now? The thought that I should pretend I am a high volume blogger with actual readers. Why? Well, why not?! I mean, I kinda got excited about my little pretend game. “Why not pretend that I actually have a blog that people read. Why not pretend that my site makes people happy and give them a little ray of hope for their day. A laugh. A nugget of truth.”
It’s part of my learning how to dream. My husband will tell you that I have a hard time with this. A hard time with hypothetical I am so focused on the reality. For example, when he gets it in his head “we should rent a cabin” and he is kinda brainstorming and just throwing it out there for a fun ‘what if’ kind of scenario. And then I squash it (really not intentional— it’s just a gift I have) with my reality comment of “oh but we did’t budget that out.” Or some other token phrase of mine.
What is the “dream big” concept that you speak of? What should I dream of?
In the current book I am reading Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson, he is talking about the Holy Spirit as the “Wild Goose” and following him is kinda like a wild goose chase (spoiler alert!- kidding). And sometimes we just gotta step out in faith on things. There is a time to pray and there is a time to act in response to how you feel the Holy Spirit is leading you.
Something else I read recently left me with the take away that when you dream, it kind of helps the mind get used to the idea. So that when something awesome happens in your life like what you dreamed, you mind sees it as normal. Anyhow, this is what I am learning now. I am acting like I really am an organized person. I am really acting like I am a blogger… acting. …trying it out.
What makes you happy? What makes you want to keep going? Sometimes it is hard to sit down and be still for the answers. But no more fear. I want to hear from God what really is my passion.
Lead on Goose!
Let’s see if I can finish this post before my tea steeps 🙂
No, I am not a big tea drinker, but I want to be. I have decided to quit coffee again. Yes, again. I really want to give this AIP diet the “ol’ college try” – a phrase a friend recently said in regards to trying his own kind of diet to heal his leaky gut. My biggest weakness is my homemade bread- from my freshly milled bread from my wheat I buy at Breadbeckers. Or anything I make home made using my milled wheat. I am NOT against wheat or gluten if you do not have an autoimmune disease. I have seen the powers of transitioning from store bought to milled in my own son’s life.
But this isn’t about wheat. Nor is it about tea, really. It’s about time. And using it wisely. I emptied the dishwasher and now finished this post. All in the time it takes to steep some tea. Done!
It’s that time of day when the kids have earned phone time and I start to exercise. But I don’t get started on that just yet because I decide I need to have my quiet time first. So I spend a little time there with time to spare for 20 minutes exercise. But hark, what is that I hear in the doorway? Sounds of a game. I look up to see my 8 year old who has been home with me not feeling well today. He is gazing at the phone and his thumbs are busy moving around the screen. Charger in hand. His phone is about to die. I ask if he is ok. “yes.” I ask him if he needs something or does he just want to be with me. “I just want to be with you.” My soul sings 🙂 Heart full 🙂
So I get my computer and sit back down. Looking through my journal and the things I have been circling in prayer. It’s been about a year for this one particular prayer request. I have a feeling that I am asking for discernment regarding this. I feel as if the answer to the prayer has already been given, I just need to walk through it. But I am afraid. Why can’t I just do it? Partly because I feel guilty – like I should be able to get everything I need done in the time frame I have. (ok, so the prayer request has to do with time). Part of me realizes I need more conversation/prayer time with my husband. I believe that is part of God’s plan. Alas, I am sitting here. Looking up from time to time to just stare at my son. And smile. He is happily playing. Timer will probably go off any second. He would be satisfied (well, he will still ask for more time, maybe) with what he has done. But I would not have accomplished what I set out. But will be happy I changed it to meet his need. A need to be in close proximity with me.
Jesus, I love you. I want to honor you with my words and resources. Thank you for teaching me what is really important.
My family. Lord, teach me what to do with things that come my way. If things are not lining up with my goal of nourishing my family, then I need not worry about whether to fit them in my schedule.