Now I have just given up on consecutive posts for HH. This past month has been one for “give ups” and while I am not proud of the way I have handled fooding (?) and blogging, I am a realist. I am going to just acknowledge that when I get stuck and feel trapped, my first thought is to just take the easy road and move on. And eventually I will come to a point in my life where I am ready to start over.
I am at that point. See, my disorganization has flooded over into every area of my life. My office space is cluttered with papers, and life. My menu planning has been just “whatever I can think of last minute” and I am forgetting to send school papers in. The negative thinking spiral is fast approaching. But I am going to regroup. What has gone well? Continue reading “Happy Healthy Day 12”
Its not important which day I am on, really. It’s important I recognize my feelings and put them down somewhere.
Confession time: i have eaten poorly for 1 week now. 1 week + 2 days. And I am reaping the negativeness. (I was going to say “benefits” but that didn’t sound correct).
My weakness is when I mill my wheat for bread/cookies/pancakes/muffins. I want so much to be able to eat this wholesome food that it drives me crazy. I am not in the camp that believes wheat is bad. I believe our poor diets have caused havoc on our gut which in turn has made things go crazy for us. I do not believe making homemade bread from scratch is bad in general. It’s bad for ME and my Hashimoto’s because of the science of the disease.
What happens when I eat wheat? I feel like I am catching a cold. Or coming down with a sinus infection. I get itchy. The back of my throat feels scratchy. I start to feel tired. And my head aches. Same goes with dairy. So what happens is I get in this “I don’t give poo” (that is so not what I really say) and I just start to eat more and more of things I shouldn’t eat. I eat them until I get made at myself for eating them. ThenI put them away out of guilt and shame and vow to re-start. Then later, I figure “oh, I’ve already messed up this day so I might as well start tomorrow.” And then the next day, I will start off with a bang and then when I don’t find the food that I can have (because I have not stocked up properly) I start my pity party cycle all over again.
Then I search for recipes online or through my books. I see all the other successful people who have been so good on their AIP lifestyle change and are happy and I just want to eat them!
Is there a support group out there? Or am I totally the only one that deals with this. It’s like I am “one month on and one month off” with good eating. It’s crazy.
Today my children were baptized! Something they chose to do on their own as a statement of faith – believing in Jesus their Savior 🙂 Such a wonderful day and time to celebrate with family and friends. What I loved most was seeing the response of family and friends as they gathered around to pray over them. What a great cloud of witnesses 🙂
How easy it is to get off track again. Off track of blogging and eating. But in my defense, I will explain. The Happy/Healthy approach over day 6 & 7 may have been a little “unorthodox” I guess I’d say. (Though I don’t actually ever use that word). Thursday we made a dessert. And I tried the dessert. And I got a headache and the back of my throat ached almost like it was scratchy as in coming down with a cold. I tried the dessert because I wanted to see what would happen. Same with day 7 when I ordered our favorite pizza. I kept thinking about the pizza and wanted to try it. So I did. Same result. But instead of getting all mad at myself and throwing out the “failure” card, I decided what I did was a good thing. For my mental health. See, before I ate the pizza and the dessert, I calmly told myself that I could have it. Because I could. And to borrow one of my favorite expressions “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”
See, I wanted to see what would happen. I wanted to know just how good I was feeling. So I compared it to something bad. It was like a peace of mind …. knowing that overall I am on the right track and making the right decisions. I just needed to know for myself. Not because someone else told me. I wanted to live it for myself. And it was a relatively safe experiment. It wasn’t like I was trying to see if running into the street during rush hour was a good idea. To see if I really could make it across.
I am glad I did it. Because I realize, it is not worth it to eat that on a regular basis. Will I do it again? With the pizza, that is? Probably. In another 3 months or so. Because I want to “live a little” in a safe way. Maybe my gut will heal a little better by then and I won’t have the same reaction. OR maybe I will just realize that even that one time with the pizza is not even worth it. Either way, it’s a win/win to me. Mental happy/healthy is important too.
I’ve decided to focus on the things I have done “right” in the day. Instead of ways I have messed up. Usually I wear the mess ups like a cloak of ashes over me as in mourning. But no more. The healthy way to approach it would be to encourage myself in what I did that was positive. The “win.” Sure, I can acknowledge the way I didn’t handle the day correctly- for like a minute so that I learn to move on from that and turn it around.
Instead of asking “why didn’t I spend more time with my kids” or “why didn’t I accomplish any of my chores yesterday?” I am going to reflect on the time I did spend with my kids and ask “how can I improve on that for tomorrow? What new game can I play with them? What is their style of play?” And as for chores, I just look at my list and pick a few and ask for help.
Happy/Healthy nugget for today: Remind yourself that you are trying. You are working at gaining control of your life. One step at a time.
You know, now that I think about it… 21 days of happy doesn’t need to be consecutive. I could have just picked up where I left off! But there is something about 21 and habit forming, right?
So yesterday’s Happy/Healthy was starting to listen to Andy Stanley’s sermon from 8/16 on What Makes You Happy.
It’s worth a “stop reading this and go there now”.
I won’t lie to you. Sometimes I feel stressed to figure out “what makes me happy.” I am afraid I will miss it. Weird, I know. But lately, I have been battling with “how much time do I need to spend with my kids so that they have a happy/healthy childhood.” And sometimes I get focused on “how can I make it through the day in one piece.”
What I am realize that makes me happy is getting in front of God every morning and asking him to plan my day and help me stay in his will. I don’t want to get out of his plan. I know I do. I get it wrong. A lot. But thankfully the Holy Spirit nudges me to get “back in the game.”
I think I have mentioned Proverbs 31 ministries and my daily email prods I get to read a little 5 minute encouraging blog. Today’s post is called How to Live a Satisfied Life by
SARAH MAE and it totally struck me. She writes: ” Every day I get the opportunity to start new. Every day I can begin again. Maybe I missed it yesterday. Maybe I got too busy or I got sucked into Facebook, or I just didn’t want to play with my kids. Those are the moments that keep me up at night. Those are the moments I need God’s grace to cover me so I can start over. I need His help every day.”
Take yesterday, for example. I prayed on my way to pick up the kids that the Lord would give me energy and grace to pick them up and “be” with them. We had a little car conversation. Rylynn needed to go potty REALLY BAD so we conveniently stopped at Dunkin Donuts. Had a nice little chat. They were very talkative and happy. I let them plan how the order of phone time and homework went because I knew there wasn’t a lot and I want them to learn how to make choices within safe boundaries. So they opted – of course- for phone time first. I was a little glad because I wanted to just wind down with some decaf and mindless Pinterest or a book or whatever. So we did homework and played for a moment out in the rain. Then it was time to make dinner. And they played happily. But there was a longing inside of me that wanted to play more. But I had run out of time – according to my schedule. Then my husband comes home and takes them one by one on a little car ride to talk about their day. And there was a little jealousy in me of “he’s the better parent today.” And most days because he thinks of things like tickle games and chase to play with them. And yes, I realize that while I want him to be that kind of involved dad, there is a little jealousy. Do I feel challenged? Is this a “game?” Is there a formula like “X amount of time daily with kids = healthy/happy kids” and that somehow translates to a “well done my good and faithful servant- you were a great parent” award?
I think in that last paragraph lies one of my deep rooted “what makes me happy.” Being a parent who connects with her children. I want the relationship with them when they are older. Which means that there needs to be a healthy dose of investment now. I get it. That’s my priority. Help me Jesus to get filled daily with you. Help me to be the kind of parent You have designed me to be. Help me not to worry that I will mess up. But rather, help me not to worry when I mess up. Help me to take it to you.
What makes YOU happy?
Find it and go get your happy on!
That stands for “Happy/Healthy Do Over Day Two”.
And if you notice, it is not posted chronologically with day 1. Doesn’t matter. What DOES matter is that I enter it. 😉
I started thinking about what energizes my day and wanted to post it. I look forward to starting my day off reading from Proverbs 31 Ministries. Great way to start the day!
Day beginners: Continue reading “HHDOD 3”
What’s trending with me these day? Drinking my 64+ fluid oz of water. That’s what. It’s addicting at this point. Yes, it is hard to drink all that water. I have tried infusing fruits and veggies. But lately I have been drinking filtered. 90 oz of it. For the past 2 days. Continue reading “Give us this day our daily trends”
A neighbor told me about Apple Cider Vinegar and how there are good benefits to gut health by just taking 1 TBSP daily. SO I did that for awhile. It was fine. Then I got out of the habit when I left the country… now I am back and found an “elixir” recipe on Pinterest. Continue reading “Detox City”
I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis in Jan 2008. I just found out I was pregnant (surprise!) and my thyroid levels were a bit off. So further trips to the endocrinologist confirmed Hashimoto’s. At the time, the impression I got from the doctor was “it’s common at your age. Many people get it. Just take a pill and all will be well.” Naive me said “ok.” At one of my next appointments I inquired about “what foods to avoid/eat” Continue reading “A little late to the party”