“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Josh 1: 9
That sounded like a good place to start. With a word from the Lord, right? Compared to the word of God, all our present sufferings seem void. And what am I suffering from really? My thoughts drift from “yeah! Let’s do this” to “nah, I really don’t want to do this.” I don’t want to write support letters or fill out a visa application or travel across the world and then travel within that country. I just want to stay here. In the comfort of my own home. Doing the same thing I do every day.
Wow. When I put it like that it sounds totally complacent of me. And a bit lazy.
Last night at our Leadership (Activate) meeting at church, we talked about leadership qualities and the “whatever it takes” attitude to be a support and encourager to the body of Christ. Someone in my group shared about his experience in the army and how it taught him to look for the “yes” in situations. When you have a job to do, you find the yes. If someone says “no” you keep looking. If you have a job to do and it seems big, start with small things to get done. Small ways for a yes.
If you say “no” to people over and over, you’ll get left alone. And left out.
Now on the same token, don’t do things out of guilt. I operate out of guilt a lot. And the Lord is teaching me about how to operate out of a Love for Him and even a love for myself.
So all this to say, when I put down on paper things that cause my stomach to knot up and what keeps me awake at night… it is this.
1. Who will watch our kids? and 2. We need to raise $5000. How??
I just see myself pocketing out $5K and wondering how that is going to happen and it makes me sick because how are we then going to pay for Conrad’s family to come over here to the states and then how am I going to pay off debt and … (read: enter downward spiral of thought).
So I reminded myself that “my God shall supply ALL my needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 4:19) and then I made my list of needs (for the upcoming trip):
1. Someone to watch my children
2. $5K for trip expeneses
and I added 3. Peace of mind.
When I looked over my list, it didn’t seem that impossible because I know God is more than capable of meeting those needs.
And what kind of message would I send if I sold myself short and not entrusted God with my list? What kind of Legacy would that start?