For Christmas I gave myself 3 lbs

“I’ve got my mind set on you” – song name escapes me…

Anyhow, in my little “mindset experiment” – which is what I am calling it now- I have realized that it is very important to set parameters. I set my mind on allowing myself treats during this Christmas break…but I have to set boundaries on how much I can allow myself to have. I know, it’s an obvious move. But I was so focused on allowing myself these treats so I wouldn’t stress myself out that I ended up stressing myself out on whether or not I would be able to stop eating the treats…

So now I feel compelled to eat the cereal or the bread or the cookies that I deny myself for good, valid health reasons all through the year (well, to be honest, denied since the end of April 2015. Well … actually, since October 2015, really. There was a solid “no sabotaging the diet” for 7 weeks which ended last Tuesday.

Telling myself that if I got through 7 weeks of no sabotaging (no cheating), then I would take the 2 week Christmas break time frame and eat the fudge, cookies or whatever. I would not fight myself, but rather encourage the festivities.

So now it’s really been 1 week since I have been on my plight and I have gained 3 lbs. And I feel physically “ick” (to use a technical term) and mentally confused. Why confused mentally? Well, my mind set is in the “just do it” mode. Get it over with. Get it out of your system. And be ready to rock and roll once my allotment is over. I should have but limits on the actual food. Not a set time for it. The confusion is why I don’t just stop while I am ahead? Why this compulsion to eat?

I worked too hard to feel this good to throw it away. But yet, there is something inside that says I need to finish this foolishness. This allotment of eating whatever.

Why?

That is the question. More later. I gotta have coffee. (Another allowance).

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