for the record

I was weighing in at about 127.something. And this was about 2 weeks before Christmas. My scale was probably trying to get a good present from me (and hiding my real weight. ha ha). Anyhow, I was feeling powerful and confident that I met my goal of not cheating on my eating for 7 weeks. I had a wonderful visit with my Naturopath under my belt. And I had given myself what I thought was a great gift. 3 weeks off of saying NO to everything I wanted to eat that was not on my plan. And things were not on my plan due to health reasons. It’s not like it was happiness denial for a few pounds. No. The food denial is what made me happy. But I thought I could handle the experiment. And 5 lbs later, I am having trouble wanting to commit back to my plan. I would do good and then sabotage myself. Again.

So I wanted to go on record to say that dairy and wheat do not make me feel better. I am NOT against milling your own wheat. Not at all. I love Breadbecker’s and support them. But I need to remind myself that eating cheese and wheat products…well – they leave me bloated and feeling heavy and disgusted mentally with myself. I absolutely hate that.

So when I was reflecting on my failure, I was reminded of how John Maxwell talks of failing as opportunities to learn. He doesn’t see failure as a bad thing, but as a way to better yourself in the next step. That’s a total loose translation so check out his stuff 🙂

Anyhow— I need to set myself up for success. And that means removing the temptations from my house. It means stocking up the fridge and pantry with things I can eat. Things that are good tasting and make me feel good about myself. So I am back at ground zero. Starting over and kinda afraid I will mess it up again. But I did it before so I can do it again!

Help me Jesus!

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