Happy Healthy day #? Confessions

Its not important which day I am on, really. It’s important I recognize my feelings and put them down somewhere.

Confession time: i have eaten poorly for 1 week now. 1 week + 2 days. And I am reaping the negativeness. (I was going to say “benefits” but that didn’t sound correct).

My weakness is when I mill my wheat for bread/cookies/pancakes/muffins. I want so much to be able to eat this wholesome food that it drives me crazy. I am not in the camp that believes wheat is bad. I believe our poor diets have caused havoc on our gut which in turn has made things go crazy for us. I do not believe making homemade bread from scratch is bad in general. It’s bad for ME and my Hashimoto’s because of the science of the disease.

What happens when I eat wheat? I feel like I am catching a cold. Or coming down with a sinus infection. I get itchy. The back of my throat feels scratchy. I start to feel tired. And my head aches. Same goes with dairy. So what happens is I get in this “I don’t give poo” (that is so not what I really say) and I just start to eat more and more of things I shouldn’t eat. I eat them until I get made at myself for eating them. ThenI put them away out of guilt and shame and vow to re-start. Then later, I figure “oh, I’ve already messed up this day so I might as well start tomorrow.” And then the next day, I will start off with a bang and then when I don’t find the food that I can have (because I have not stocked up properly) I start my pity party cycle all over again.

Then I search for recipes online or through my books. I see all the other successful people who have been so good on their AIP lifestyle change and are happy and I just want to eat them!

Is there a support group out there? Or am I totally the only one that deals with this. It’s like I am “one month on and one month off” with good eating. It’s crazy.


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